Thursday, January 09, 2014

throwback thursday // marriage

>> there are some posts from way back when i first started the blog that i'd like to highlight. so, i'll be periodically reposting some of them & i'm calling it throwback thursday! this first post is actually the very first post i wrote in this blog. originally written on January 10, 2013 - pretty much exactly a year ago! enjoy! <<

This is not something that I am an expert on, nor something I could cover in one single blog post. But these are the things I've been learning and thinking about during this time that I am approaching marriage. 

In a little over 4 months, I am getting married. Over the past year, I've been studying and thinking a lot about what this actually means. As a little girl, I always imagined marriage as something everyone does after they graduate college. I thought you meet the perfect person for you, and live the rest of your lives as happy as can be. I thought that you weren't complete until you found your spouse. I guess I can blame my view of marriage when I was growing up on our culture and how marriage is portrayed. But, my view was wrong and superficial. 

The more I learn about what being a follower of Jesus means, the more I learn about what marriage should be, and also what it is not. Jesus is the only one who can complete me and the only one who can complete T. If either of us were to look to the other to fulfill God's role, we would be disappointed. We were lucky in that we met later in life, after we had come to start to understand our identity in Christ. We are not perfect in this at all, but I think we have a better understanding of it now than we did a few years ago. Before we first started dating we had a conversation about this very thing, and how we always wanted to find our identity in Jesus first, and then look to the other person to complement that. I am so thankful the Lord let us be discerning enough to see that at the beginning of our relationship. Yet I know that we will continue to struggle with keeping Jesus as King in our lives until we leave this earth. 

Phillipians 2:3-4
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

These verses are applicable to the Christian life, but also very applicable to marriage. In fact, many of the general life teachings in the Bible can especially be applied to marriage, because marriage is the analogy God uses to speak of our relationship with Him. 

So, if we are the bride of Christ, and He is our bridegroom, should we not also apply how the bride and groom are to treat each other to our marriages? He stays faithful to us, He loves us, He admonishes us, He pursues us. Marriage, afterall, is the most important accountability relationship we will have on this earth. Our relationship with Jesus is our most important relationship, but God uses marriage to pull us towards Him. 

I've heard these verses a lot, but never really thought of them as verses on marriage. That's something I heard recently, and it's so cool to see the Bible in a different light. 

I'm not married yet, but even in my relationship and engagement to T, I've seen this truth. There have been situations in which we both had to seek the Lord, because there was no way we could handle the situation on our own. We've each had to confess sin to the other, and forgive the other. None of those two things we could have done, had we not prayed and spent time seeking the Lord before, during, and after. There have been times when we've each had the privelage to encourage the other about something they are going through. We've had the opportunity to speak truth into each others lives and correct our way of thinking towards the Lord. 

Marriage is messy. It's two sinners living and doing life together. But, hopefully, it is two sinners who are chasing after the heart of Jesus. Two sinners who are encouraging one another towards Christ. Two sinners that confess sin and forgive through Christ's strength. Two sinners that are striving towards getting rid of selfishness and being servants of Christ and each other. When two sinners, truly follow after Christ, confess sin, encourage each other, and become one - the messy can become beautiful. 

I've also learned that marriage is a lot of work. Our relationship this far has already been a lot of work. But it's work that is necessary and completely worth it. Through our relationship, I've learned more about my relationship with the Lord. I also know I have a lot more to learn!


  1. 2 sinners who live together... amen sister! Its tough... but worth sticking through it :)

  2. Wow, you were really thinking seriously about the subject and what the reality of marriage would be before you were even married! I think if more people would think seriously about it ahead of time they wouldn't be so shocked to find that marriage wasn't much like the vague idea of it they had!

  3. What a great post!!! I think it's awesome that you thought through all of this even before being married. I'm sure you've learned SO MUCH since then too! :-)

  4. This is such a great idea! And a great post too!

  5. Thank you for linking up at the Blog Strut Blog Hop! I can't wait to see what you link up next week! I would love for you to hop over anytime to and link up with the parties I co-host throughout the week!

    Have a terrific weekend!



  6. definitely tough - but definitely worth it! :)

  7. thanks, Rachel! i agree! when i was approaching marriage, i saw so many of my friends striving after marriage just because they "wanted to be happy" or "didn't want to be alone forever" & it just made me sad! i wanted to really dig into why God made marriage in the first place for my soul & so i could help my friends if they needed to talk!

  8. thank you sweet friend! i definitely feel that thinking through all of this helped me be a little wiser leading into marriage....but at the same time, we are both sinners & there are some things you just can't be prepared for! so i have definitely learned so much more now that i'm on the other side of marriage!

  9. it brings me joy to see a young woman who is so wise beyond her years. going into marriage with a godly mindset and knowing it's going to be hard work will definitely work in your favor! these last few months of being engaged are so excited but so scary at times. prayers for you as you start this amazing journey...being married is awesome!

  10. thank you for your kind words, Danica! :)

  11. Love these thoughts! Thanks for sharing!