Thursday, January 23, 2014

throwback thursday // submission

>> there are some posts from way back when i first started the blog that i'd like to highlight. so, i'll be periodically reposting some of them & i'm calling it throwback thursday! this post was originally written January 21, 2013. enjoy! <<

We submit to things everyday. We submit to the speed limit. We submit to our boss. We submit to our hunger. We submit to those in authority over us.

But for some reason, when we read "submit to your husband" (Ephesians 5:22) we cringe. Part of it is our human nature, and the results of Genesis 3 - (16) "your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you." Another reason, especially true for me, is that we have seen men abuse their role as the leader. We've seen men that hold it over their wife's head, and do not treat her in a loving or Biblical way. And it affects the way we see submission. It fuels our already existant desire to rule over our husband.

Right before that verse is Ephesians 5:18b "be filled with the Spirit....(21) submitting to one another out of reverance for Christ." Submitting is emphasized for the wife, because the husband is the head, the leader. Yet the Bible tells both spouses to submit to each other out of reverance for Christ. Although, this submitting is a bit different than the submitting in verse 22. Submitting out of reverance for Christ is putting the needs of another before your own. helping your spouse to be the person God has called them to be, helping to bear burdens. Submitting is asking "how can I best serve or encourage my spouse?"  It is not being a victim or a doormat. The reason is, because Biblical submission is not a one way street.

When we submit to each other, we build each other up. When we build our spouse up with the truth of Christ, we end up building ourselves up too. Submitting to each other out of reverance for Christ, is putting your spouse's needs before your own. That is how Jesus lived, focusing on others and not Himself. When we do this, we honor Jesus. Looking at submission this way, it is not downing ourselves, but lifting others up. That's why it must be mutual.

I think the Bible commands both spouses to submit like this, and then adds on that wives are also to submit to their husbands as the leader of the family. Both submit out of reverance for Christ, yet wives submit even more, by respecting your husband and recognizing his role as the head of the family. Yet, the Bible also instructs husbands to love their wife as Christ loved the church. Christ does not take advantage of the church or His position. When husbands love their wives in this way, it is easier for the wife to respect him and submit to him because she respects him.

For me, T has helped me with this. Because I used to cringe at the thought of submitting to a man, because I thought about submission completely wrong. When T takes the initiative, he takes the responsibility, but he also includes me in on what is going on. He leads well because he looks to Christ first. And because he loves me well, I do respect him. I view him as a man whose leadership I want to follow and submit to. He makes it easy for me to respect him, because he is a respectable man.

He makes it easy for me to build him up, and bear his burdens, because he leads well in submitting in this way. He always encourages me and helps me think through things and pushes me towards Christ. He leads by example. When I see him doing this, it makes it easier for me to as well.

p.s. i'm also over at Beka's blog today doing a Q&A! check her out @ Sunshine to the Square Inch!


  1. I definitely needed to hear this! Beautiful words!

  2. Truth. I love how this passage outlines our different needs as husbands and wives. Men, normally, tend to need respect, so wives are commanded to submit. And, women, normally, tend to need love, so husbands are commanded to love. There's a reason why we are called to submit, so we should do it joyfully.

  3. i need to hear it every day! :) thank you, Jenna!!

  4. you're so right, Jenny!! God didn't just tell wives to submit for no reason, it's because it's how our relationship with men works best! :)

  5. This is such a healthy perspective. I used to "hate" the idea of submitting to a man as well but Christ has taught us that this is the best and most joyful way to live... in submission to Him.

    Thank you for sharing.

  6. thanks for sharing your thoughts, Jennifer! :) you are so right - when we submit to Christ and also to our husband, it brings joy because it's the way we were created! :)

  7. Robyn, what a great reminder! Thanks for taking the time to explain what so many women today need to know.