Thursday, May 15, 2014

year one | part two

yesterday i shared awesome things that happened during our first year of marriage. and today i want to share with you some not-so-awesome things that happened during our first year of marriage. because sometimes, life is just gonna be life. the truth about it is that marriage is sometimes hard because life is hard. but it's through those trials & challenges that our marriage is strengthened! i never want to portray our marriage or my life as perfect, because it is not. it's real, raw, and messy - but it is during those times that the biggest part of who i am is shaped. it's in those times that real change happens. and that's why i want to share the not-so-awesome things that happen - not to complain, but to be real. not to discourage, but to encourage & share that we are getting through them.

5 crazy things that happened during our first year of marriage

o1 | our basset hound, Dixie, decided that she couldn't hold it all day while we were at work & messed up her cage EVERY SINGLE DAY the first week she lived with us. we couldn't leave her outside all day because the fence we had wasn't sturdy at all and there was a very good chance she would get out. we live in the country so we would probably never see her again if she did get out.

we had planned on having the first few weekends to just rest & adjust to our new lives together. but instead, we ended up building a fence with the help of our dads. (i say we, but i think we all know i didn't help much!)

i mean, it is awesome that we have a fence custom built by our dads! but what's not so awesome is spending our first few weekends on it & having to clean up after our dog every day!

o2 | every time i took a shower for the first month and a half after i moved in, my legs & arms would itch INSANELY for about 45 minutes to an hour after i got out. i honestly thought i would just die from scratching my legs so much! i tried everything to get some relief & nothing worked. we finally got a filtered shower head & that seemed to be the solution.

o3 | i got sick a lot the first few months - probably the combined stress of my first full time job and planning a wedding.
|| about 3 days before the wedding, my throat was killing me and i was convinced i had strep throat. i normally get strep throat at least once or twice a year, and it's contagious so i was not happy. i went to the doctor and they told me it was pharyngitis. i was relieved, but still had to take medicine for 10 days.
|| i started feeling better during the honeymoon, but as soon as we got back home i was sick again. the doctor said they thought it was viral so i didn't have a choice but to wait it out. it lasted about a week and a half.
|| after we got home from the cruise, i got sick again with what felt like the exact same thing. it lasted for about a week.

o4 | after i started feeling better, Thomas started feeling bad. he went to the doctor and they gave him some medicine. after a week, it was getting worse so he went back to the doctor. they did blood work and told him that he had mono. i didn't know much about mono at the time except that it's called the kissing disease. turns out it is worse for adults. most adults don't get it because they've been exposed to the virus in school and built up an immunity to it. mono basically drains all of your energy and the only way to get over it is to rest and let your body heal. it's viral so it can't be treated by medicine. it can last anywhere from a few weeks to a few months. Thomas took some days off of work and then worked from home for a few weeks. since he had to work from home, he didn't get as much rest as he needed to.

one side affect of mono is that it enlarges your spleen. so Thomas wasn't allowed to lift anything heavy because it could burst his spleen and then that would require emergency surgery. around the beginning of September, he started feeling better for about a week. then it came back with a vengeance. we went to the doctor and his white blood count was really low and his heart rate was really high. they put him on IV's to see if they could get his heart rate down. after one bag, nothing had changed so they tried another bag. there was talk of admitting him to the hospital if it wasn't lower by the end of the second bag, because he could go into septic shock (which is deadly 50% of the time) so it was scary. after the second bag, he was doing better so they sent him home.

he got strep throat on top of the mono and it was really bad. it hurt him so much that he hardly ate for a week. they gave him some medicine for his strep throat, but it had amoxicillin in it so it made him break out in a rash. (you aren't supposed to take amox if you have mono) it took a few weeks but he slowly started feeling better and his throat finally cleared up. overall, Thomas was really sick for about two months. it was kinda like a roller coaster with him feeling better and then feeling worse. it was a really long two months and we are so glad that he is healthy again!

o5 | our jobs have both been crazy busy which has resulted in working overtime at night and on the weekends. on top of all of that, at the beginning of March Thomas found out his company is closing the office in SC. which means that he is losing his job sometime during the year. we are very blessed by the fact that his department will be the last one to be shut down & that he was made aware very early on. but it is definitely not something we thought we would be going through our first year of marriage.

so, needless to say, it's been a busy first year of marriage! we've been through a lot & survived it all. we've laughed, we've cried, we've dreamed, we've planned, we've fought, we've forgiven - we wouldn't trade it for anything & can't wait to see what the next years bring!

and this weekend, we are leaving for an entire week for a log cabin getaway! we love traveling & are super excited about just getting away from everything for a whole week! having unlimited access to a hot tub all week doesn't hurt either! :)


  1. Yay for marriage and vacations!!!

  2. Loved this post...its true you can't love someone unless you can love them through the rough patches, myself and my husband have had some hard moments throughout our relationship but I feel it has made us so much stronger. We know that no matter what life throws our way we can fight our way through it all.

    so happy you and the Hubby get to go away for a week!!! and to stay in a cute wood cabin. I hope you guys have so much fun xx

    Amber xx

  3. Good grief! You guys had a lot happen... I'm glad you felt better during the honeymoon at least, and I'm glad he recovered from the mono! That's a year to remember for sure.

  4. Wow - Daniel had mono while we were dating and it was horrible. I've never seen him so miserable. But the worst thing is that he gets sick really easily. A month before we got married (in the summer!) he got really bad sick with a 105 degree fever. We had to take him to the emergency room. It was terrifying. All this to say - it might be time to become a germaphobe!

  5. Oh no! I'm so glad Thomas is better from mono - (it's the worst when it goes on undiagnosed)
    Sounds like life just stays busy whether you're busy, married or parenting. haha.

    Thanks for sharing, warts and all :)

  6. yes! exactly! we have definitely shown we are there for each other in sickness - now i'm ready for the "in health" part! :) oh gosh you aren't kidding! i thought it was never going to end & i hated that he was in such misery! it definitely has strengthened our marriage and i know that it will help us in future trials!

  7. you are so right Amber! sometimes you don't know how strong your relationship is until it's gone through the fire! it definitely does make you stronger! thank you Amber! i am so ready for our week away! :)

  8. yes! i can't believe that all of this happened in just one year! crazy! but i'm glad we are getting to the "in health" part of our vows! :)

  9. oh goodness! yeah i definitely felt so helpless because he was so miserable and i couldn't do a thing! oh gosh - yeah we are definitely way more conscious about things now because we never want to have him go through anything like that again!

  10. thank you! yes i believe that! i can't imagine feeling like that for SO long! life is so so busy but that's why a week away will be so sweet! :) thank you Lorraine!

  11. Urgh I remember the early days with our pups as well. Because we had carpet in the kitchen we had to keep them in crates overnight but then they'd wet their beds so each day we'd have a load of dog bedding in the wash. But how awesome is it that your dads made you a custom fence!

    Do you have to clean your shower filter out at all? Just wondering what it filters out of your water that caused you to itch so much. There's nothing worse than being itchy - had terrible itchy feet whilst pregnant. It was awful!!

    You must've been quit stressed leading up to your wedding day what with the illness and all! It doesn't sound like it had too much of an affect on your wedding which is good!

    Oh wow you both must've been so worried when Thomas got the mono. Sounds like he had a real rough time of things! Glad to hear that he's better though. He looked like such a cool dude in that photo though!

    I'm sorry to hear that Thomas's office is closing up. I wish him luck with getting a new job. Hope it isn't too stressful for you both.

  12. Oh my goodness! I am so sorry you had to deal with all this. Especially both of you being so sick at the beginning of your marriage. NOT FUN! I am glad you had each other for support and you seem to be stronger because of it!

  13. dogs can be SO much to handle sometimes! :) but i still love them! and yes the custom fence is definitely awesome!!!

    we haven't changed the filter yet. you're supposed to change every 6 months i think, but we think it may have something to do with the chemicals they use during spring/summer - cause they put different things in the water depending on the season and i think we are about to change the filter now because it's spring again!

    all of the sickness definitely stressed us out! it was so rough, but we are so so blessed that he is doing better now! (although we just got back from our anniversary trip and he had horrible tooth pain from a cavity this weekend and is having it filled today - can't catch a break with this one!)

    thank you so much for your kind words! :)

  14. thank you Charlene! it was definitely an adventure! i think it was good in shaping our marriage right from the start though! no delusions about a fairytale life here! :)