Wednesday, August 27, 2014

real talk | life is messy (& that's okay!)


if you walked into my house right now, you would find....
- my pajamas on the bathroom floor because i threw them off in a rush to get ready for work
- a glue gun still sitting on the fireplace in the living room where i used it last to make a flower pin for Jenna's bridal shower (3 1/2 weeks ago)
- dishes piled in the sink & soaking because we didn't scrub them right after using them
- half chewed clothespins all over the floor because our basset hound has decided these are her new favorite snack (to steal)
- rabbit bedding & hay all over the dining room floor from Albie pushing it out of his cage & the dogs tracking it everywhere


this is actually how our house looks a lot of the time. why? because we live in it. we rush in the mornings because we hit snooze too many times, we cook & don't always clean the dishes right away, we get things out & don't always put them away in a timely manner. why am i telling you this? it isn't to convince you that we are messy, although i'm sure you now believe it. 

i'm telling you this because i am okay with messy. not because i want to live in a pig sty, but because there are other things more important than cleaning sometimes. we might not have swept the floors on Saturday, but we spent the entire day together creating memories & growing in our marriage. the dishes didn't get washed, but we spent 4 hours with our church community officially covenanting together. there are things that take priority over having a spotless house.

i am also telling you this because i am okay with not coming off as "put together". i don't always have the right answer, but i realize that asking for help is not a sign of weakness. i am not always an encouraging helpmate to my husband & i get irritated over silly things, but we repent and forgive. our house is not pinterest worthy, but it is perfect for us. our dinners aren't pretty enough for instagram, but they are healthy & quick.

and i'm okay with that.

and if you're honest with yourself... i think you want to be okay with it too. coming off as perfect is so exhausting. i want to invite people into my home & my life even during the messy parts. especially during the messy. i want to do life with others & that cannot be done if i am too busy creating a facade of perfection.

life is messy. people are messy. vulnerability is messy. marriage is messy.

to do life with people & truly be in community with them, is to be involved in the messy. not to be afraid of my mess or other people's mess, but to embrace it and to walk through it together.

to truly be known is to let people see the real me, not the image that i put off to the world. i don't want to miss out on life in the search of perfection.

i think it begs the question though, why are we so afraid of messes? why are we afraid of vulnerability? why are we afraid of letting people see who we truly are? why are we afraid of failure?

vulnerability is scary & sometimes it hurts but it is also freeing. it is healthy. it is needed. 

failure is never fun, but it helps us to learn. it gives us experience & it helps stretch us out of our limits. 

saying "i don't know" is okay. you are not expected to know everything & it is okay to admit that you need help.

messy is part of life. it is nothing to be afraid of. through the messy parts of life, real life change happens. embrace it & live in freedom!

"A perfectly kept house is the sign of a misspent life."


how do you embrace messy?


49 comments:

  1. I love this post! I have 3 kids and things are always messy around here. My Mom is a perfectionist in every aspect of her life and she constantly gripes at me because I'm not. I would rather enjoy the day than clean house! Life is short and precious. I want to live mine and not spend all my time and energy convincing everyone else that I live in a perfect world. Perfection doesn't even really exist. Wonderful thoughts :)

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  2. This was so beautifully said - thanks for going against the grain here in a way that frees us all to follow. Embrace the way living life well makes a mess! ;)

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  3. This is so perfectly written! It was like you were speaking straight to me :) You are right - life is messy. And if we pretend it is not, we are just fooling others and trying to fool ourselves. For me, it is really hard to say "I don't know." Probably one of the hardest things for me to say, actually. But there is so much that can be learned when you are willing to admit that you don't know something. If you try to look like you have it all together, you are robbing yourself of an opportunity to learn and grow!

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  4. So well written! My place sounds just like yours! What a good reminder, to enjoy life and not get caught up in perfection :) Even though every once in awhile my own mess will drive me crazy ;)

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  5. Being vulnerable is really scary, but it is freeing as well :) Love that quote from Mary Carter! I need to take this to heart more, but honestly sometimes it's not that I care if other people think I'm messy, it's just that messiness stresses me out! haha.

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  6. the glue gun is SO ME! ...so i'm glad someone else admits to leaving crafting material laying around for almost a month after the project! :)
    I love this post robyn. seriously - vulnerability is key to a healthy relationship (marriage, friendships, whatever) and so many people just don't go there.
    i'm not the biggest fan of messes...but i also love them. it shows we're not perfect and that we all require effort, work, and time. :) great post!!

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  7. I love, love, love this post! I embrace messy by reminding myself what's most important. The other night, I needed to clean the apartment, but the sun was shining just right, my pup was eager to play, and I had been at work all day. I left the mess + went outside for fun... and it was so, so worth it :) Whenever I get worried about the mess, I just remind myself - what's going to matter more in a year from now? That the room was clean or I embraced life in the moment? Great post, Robyn!

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  8. i love the attitude you have, Angie! it is so exhausting trying to make everything perfect all the time! especially when you have kids... things are just going to be messy! and at the end of the day a clean house doesn't matter as much as bringing joy to those kids & making memories will! :)

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  9. thank you so much Lauren! it is something i have been learning to be okay with this year & it is so absolutely freeing! :)

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  10. thank you Amy! :) it can be such a hard thing to say, but then when you are okay with saying it - it really does open up new experiences & opportunities to learn! plus it brings a sigh of relief to me when i don't feel the pressure to know everything & be everything, ya know?! :)

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  11. glad to know we are not the only ones! :) it is so easy for me to get caught up in trying to make everything the way i want it or to make myself look the way i want to.... and end up missing out on life! and yes! there comes a point when the mess is too much and causes stress! :)

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  12. i am really glad to know that other people can relate :)

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  13. so, so freeing! & less scary on the other side! i read that quote after i had typed up this post & just knew i had to include it in :)


    i completely get that, too! i can handle mess for a while, but there comes a point in time where it's too much mess or it's been too long that it's not worth the stress! and then getting rid of the actual mess is the priority right then! :)

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  14. hahaha! i always leave my craft stuff laying on our dining room table - ya know, just incase i feel like doing something creative i have it at the ready! it drives my husband crazy sometimes! :)


    love your thoughts! it really does show that we require effort, work, and time! love that! :)

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  15. thank you Caitlin! :) it is good to just stop & remember what is most important in the moment! that wounds like such a fun way to spend an afternoon & i'm sure your dog (and you) really needed/appreciated it!


    i love your questions you ask. "what will matter more a year from now?" such a great perspective!!

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  16. YES! Real life is the best life, and that life is messy.

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  17. this is so true! life's messy, and that's ok.

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  18. Life, houses, cars... They're all messy and that's ok. :-) Thankfully, the Lord's the one to clean up our life messes, not us. One less chore to do. :-) Thanks for linking up with the Faith and Fellowship blog hop. :-)

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  19. This is my life. Oh my floors how they are constantly dirty because so many people enter my home. It is a losing battle. Great words. Can't let the mess hold us back from inviting people in.

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  20. YES! I needed to read this. What you described is exactly what my house is like and sometimes I wonder if I am the only one. I wonder if everyone else spends all of their time cleaning and making things perfect. I obsess way too much on what the house looks like when someone visits Life is messy...thanks for the reminder!

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  21. Love this. SO much. I'm bookmarking it for the future when I'm a wife & mother--and gleaning much from it even now in the singleness stage of life!

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  22. This is so true Robyn! Sometimes messy can be taken to the extreme but a certain amount of messy is required to really live! I love this.

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  23. Such a wonderful and true post. Many people spend so much time and energy "looking good" that they forget to live and enjoy life.

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  24. I love this! I'm so glad you shared this. I want my home to be comfortable, meaning that everything isn't always in it's perfect place. I want my home to look like it's lived in! Love these thoughts!

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  25. yes! as soon as you clean it up... it's messy again and it's okay to stay that way for a bit! i am so thankful that the Lord cleans up our messes as well! :)

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  26. isn't it so great that the reason your floors are dirty is b/c you invite so many people into your home?! :) thanks for sharing, Ali!

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  27. thanks for sharing Samantha! you are most definitely not the only one!!

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  28. i'm glad it touched you, Meghan! :) i agree with you that this can apply in any stage during life! :)

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  29. yes! cleanliness and messy can definitely be taken to the extreme! it's good to remember we live somewhere in the middle :)

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  30. it is so exhausting! life is more enjoyable without all of that stress!

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  31. thanks Madison! :) if your house looks lived in, then you're doing something right! :)

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  32. thanks Veronica! :) i need this reminder a lot!

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  33. I like your perspective! Clean and tidy just doesn't always happen (although I do like clean and tidy). =)

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  34. haha! i like it too but am learning to be okay with some mess :)

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  35. Oh, I love this! I am all about being honest instead of being perfect. Thanks so much for your post and vulnerability! We need more of it in the world!

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  36. Love this! It's way more freeing to just be real and sometimes that means a little messy house. :)

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  37. yes! i love how you stated that - honesty over perfection! :)

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  38. What a great post and so true! Making memories is much more important than having a home spic and span all the time. Found you from the Jack of All Trades link-up and am now your newest follower!

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  39. I love this! Thanks for reminding us to keep things real:)

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  40. thanks Maddie! :) it is a good reminder to myself every day!

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  41. Yes, Amy! i so agree! :) i have to remember to prioritize! so glad you stopped by!

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  42. I love this post, and the quote at the end! Good reminder when I look at my messy house. Really I like cleaning and the feeling it gives, but I simply don't have the time to keep it clean all the time.

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  43. thanks Susanne! clean houses are nice... but sometimes it's nice to look at the mess & see all of the life that was lived! :) and you know what? clean & messy are both ok!

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  44. I'm so glad you put this link in your Nesting Place post so I could re-discover it! You make me feel so much better, like hey I'm not the only one who soaks dishes because I don't wash them right away! I love how you keep it real :)

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  45. you are definitely not the only one! :) thank you for your words, friend!

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