Monday, October 12, 2015

to the woman who isn't ready to have kids:

*please note* this is a letter to women who aren't ready for kids yet. it is in no way directed at women who long to be moms, women who are moms, or women who are struggling with infertility. it is simply written one-sided to this specific type of woman, so please do not find offense in these words if that is not you. because it definitely is not intended. :)

you're finally at this place in life that you've dreamed about your entire life. you're married to your most favorite man in the world & enjoying this sweet time of just living life together.

you've heard it your whole life. once you get married, the next stage in life is to have kids. you've seen your friends follow this pattern. you love seeing your friends welcome a new child into their lives. you're so happy for them because they're following their dreams. but you feel like there's something wrong with you because you don't share this dream. not right now. 

it seems like every month another couple is announcing that they are pregnant. every few months someone is asking you when you are going to start a family. and oh, how you dread some of the reactions when you answer. 

i want to tell you that there's nothing wrong with you, and that it's okay to wait to become a parent. yes, a lot of people follow the pattern of getting married and immediately starting a family. but just because that's the norm doesn't mean that's the best plan for you. there is no checklist that you are required to live up to.

each couple is unique and what's best for someone else may not be what's best for you. and vice versa. don't let society make you feel wrong about the choices you make for your family. and don't apologize for doing what you feel is best for you and your family.

it's okay that you don't have baby fever. that you don't desire with every ounce of your being to become a mom. it's okay, i promise. women were not meant to be 100% the same, and God gives us all different dreams. if the only reason is that you just don't feel called to being a mom right now, then that is enough.

it is good to be content in the stage of life that we are in, instead of constantly rushing to the next "big thing". and having kids is definitely not something that should be rushed. maybe one day you will become a mom, or maybe you won't. but continue enjoying the life stage you are in now and rest in the fact that it's okay to do so. 

live the life you've imagined.

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