Monday, October 17, 2016

the easy life vs. the best life

i've been thinking a lot about "the easy road" lately. i put it in quotations because what is easy, really? in thinking of my own situation, sometimes school is easier than work, but in many ways work is a lot easier than school. 

a lot of times people tend to view going back to school as taking the easy road. while other people are still working a full time job, i'm living it up and partying in college, right? i've even heard someone say they wish they could go back to school & have time to nap. i have to chuckle at the fact that anyone could think "grad school" and "naps" go together at all! in reality, grad school is way more time consuming than the full time job that i left, even when i was working ridiculous amounts of overtime.

the easy road for me would have been to stay in my full time job where i knew what to expect, i had a routine down, i made enough money to live on, and i could clock out on nights and weekends.

the easy road would have been for me and Thomas to have stayed in the house we already owned and in a town where we already had connections.

the easy road would have been to not pay a crazy amount of money for grad school right after paying off a crazy amount of student loans from undergrad.

instead, we sold our house, moved our lives, left our families, left a good paying job, and are paying a lot of money for grad school. grad school is like having a full time job, homework on nights and weekends, a part time job in the internship, and i have a small part time job on the side. somehow i still have to find time to be a wife, take care of three pets, and practice self-care for myself. it's not an easy road, but it's been the best decision, the best road.

i would be lying if i said i didn't ever think about just staying in that easy life, because it was so comfortable. yes i would love to have a year or two where we could just be. where we didn't have to think about loans, or debt, and just live "the good life." but the problem is, that isn't "the good life" for me. finances are important, and money should be managed well, but money is not where i find my joy. it is not what motivates me, and ultimately it is not what i want out of life.

i have felt and seen a change in myself in these past few months. yes, it would have been easy to stay in the known. in the job where i made good money and knew what to expect, but i would have been miserable. to be honest, i was really miserable the past year and these last few months have been incredible. it would have been easy to stay in the house we knew and in the town where we had friends, but we wouldn't have grown as we have in this big step of faith. it would have been easy to finally take that trip to Harry Potter World that we haven't been able to afford. it would have been easy to buy a nice house that we would be comfortable in. it would've been easy, but it wasn't what is best for us. 

basically i have come to realize this: i don't want the easy life, i want the best life.

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