Monday, April 29, 2019

the first trimester

when we found out
we found out that Baby B was on board on February 1, 2019 which was a friday. i actually took a test on tuesday of that week, knowing i was probably taking the test WAY too early, but i was just so anxious to find out if we had a baby on the way. it was negative on tuesday, so i made myself wait 3 more days and took a test again on friday. it had a faint positive line and i couldn't believe it. i did a google search to make sure a faint positive line still meant positive (it does), and then took the test in the backyard to snap a photo. i told Thomas that day, but took another test sunday to make sure and it was positive too!

how i told Thomas
if you haven't already figured this out about me, i plan ahead... and this was no exception. as soon as we started "trying" for a baby, i ordered some adorable woodland baby booties to use as a way to tell Thomas the news. i had a "little cub" bear cutout from Wild Cedar Co. that i had been saving, so i wrapped up the bear, booties, and positive test and told Thomas i made him a "get well" package because he was sick that day. when he opened the gift, he had a suspicion of what may be in there, but he was somewhat shocked and excited about the news.

12 hour shifts
12 hour shifts can be hard to get through on a normal day, but it's a whole other level when you're feeling that pregnancy fatigue and all-day sickness. the nausea started to hit towards the end of week 5, i would feel nauseous pretty much all day long. at the beginning of week 6 i actually got sick just from certain food smells. i got sick right before going into work a few times, which made those days super long because the sick feeling never went away. it is hard to be at work for 12 hours, trying to force myself to eat so i won't have an empty stomach and get sick again.

one of the worst feelings in the world to me, is being nauseous. i hate feeling nauseous and when i have a stomach virus i often pray that i will get sick so the nausea will go away. there is no way to sugar coat it, morning sickness (which is all-day sickness in my case) is just miserable. my days at work were rough and my days off were rough because it was constant nausea and trying not to actually get sick at work. and then in between the bouts of nausea, trying to keep my eyes open and my brain focused on what i need to do.

i also work a job where i interact with people, so I was constantly praying that i didn't get sick in a patient's room and that I could focus on helping patients, but it was rough. my nausea lasted well into the second trimester too, so it was about 3.5 months of 24/7 nausea! (i did get medication around week 9 that helped for the most part, and i am super thankful for that!)

days off
my days at work during the first trimester were hard and my days off were hard, because of the constant nausea and fatigue it was so hard to get things done. i usually try to go for a walk on my days off, but walking made my nausea worse so that was off the table. i especially didn't want to start feeling worse when i'm walking outside by myself, while Thomas is at work. i couldn't spend energy unpacking either, because that movement would make me feel sick. there were a few days i was able to run some light errands, but mostly i had to lay down a lot on my days off. i had about 2 months where i could hardly leave the house if i wasn't working, and i started to get cabin fever really bad! (thankfully some of my energy came back in the second trimester and we finally started unpacking the house again! haha)

who we told
we told our parents, grandparents, siblings, and a few close friends during the first trimester. we wanted to wait to announce to everyone after the first trimester passed, but i am so glad we told a few family members and friends early on. i can't imagine going through this sickness and all of the other symptoms without having some of my closest friends to talk to about it, and receive encouragement from. plus, if something did go wrong and we had a miscarriage, it was comforting to know that we had people to talk to who knew would know why we were grieving. (i work in the ER and see people come in to find out they miscarried more often than i'd like, so i always knew it was something we wouldn't want to go through alone.) we also got to celebrate the news with our families early on which was fun! i also had to tell my boss a few weeks early because i got sick at work and had to leave early. so i shared the news so i wouldn't just look like a slacker! haha

first doctor visit/first ultrasound
i didn't have my first appointment with the doctor until i was 8.5 weeks along. since my nausea started at week 5, that means i was sick for 3.5 weeks before i could see a doctor and ask for something to help relieve the nausea! those were the longest 3.5 weeks of my life! Thomas was able to join me for my first visit, and they did an ultrasound before the doctor visit! it was surreal to see a little baby developing inside of me on the screen! there is literally nothing to compare it too, it is just a unique experience in life! (at my 12.5 week appointment, we got to hear the heartbeat on the doppler and that was really cool too!)

the only time i've had an ultrasound prior, was when they discovered the 22 pound cyst growing in my ovary, so this one was much more pleasant! we were able to see the heartbeat flickering on the screen, and we got some really cute photos of baby B to take home! the pressing down on my abdomen actually kind of hurt when they were doing the ultrasound, so it was hard for me to focus on the screen much. i don't remember much more than seeing the flickering heartbeat, so i'm glad they give you the take home photos! ;)

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

baby b | the decision

it is fair to say that Thomas caught baby fever long before me, like a few years before. when Thomas and i got married, we discussed adopting kids and having kids biologically. i always knew i wanted kids but i never had the strong pull to have them, until now. for the longest time i thought maybe i would never feel that. until December 29, 2018 as i watched the 60 members of my grandmother's family file into the pews at her funeral.

i started thinking about how awesome it was that she left such a legacy in so many people. she had 14 grandchildren, 32 great-grandchildren, and 5 great-great-grandchildren when she passed. all of these grandchildren are due to the fact that she had 5 children. and i started thinking about how i wanted to have a big family. (probably not 5 children, but probably more than 2)

Thomas and i both came from smaller families, we each have 1 sister. we have talked about having kids before, and we always said we wanted a big family, but we never really defined what that meant. so we talked about how many kids we would realistically like to have, on the 2 hour drive home from my grandmother's funeral.

i started thinking about adoption and biological children, and how that would look. ideally, we would like to have our children in birth order, but we plan on possibly adopting from foster care, so that may not be possible. but who knows, it may still happen that way.

then, i kept thinking about how i'm in my 30's now and it would probably make most sense to have our biological child(ren) before i'm considered a geriatric pregnancy. (which is 35, by the way!) and then continue growing our family by fostering/adopting once we are a little bit more seasoned parents. 

i started thinking about everything that is a factor in this decision, and made a list of things to discuss with Thomas. (i'm real fun to plan things with, haha!) things such as: when i will be eligible for FMLA leave (since i just started my full-time position a few months prior), family vacations we already had booked to Disney, financial decisions on how long to take for leave, etc. 

i honestly started getting so much anxiety about everything that goes into the planning and then ending up with a human being to keep alive! haha! i mean it is exciting but overwhelming, and now here we are with baby b on the way and we are just elated!

Monday, April 22, 2019

days of disney | magic kingdom

last year around this time, I graduated with my masters and my sister graduated with her doctorate! my parents wanted to take us all to Disney to celebrate, but it was hard to figure out a time to go last year because of taking licensure exams, starting residency, and starting a new job! so we decided to wait until this year so we could actually enjoy it rather than stressing about everything going on after grad school! my mom had matching Star Wars shirts for us to wear for the trip too, and they were so fun!

we went to Magic Kingdom the first day, and didn't get much sleep the night before. I was still in my first trimester during the trip, so the extreme fatigue of pregnancy plus not much sleep meant I was feeling pretty bad by dinner time. me and Thomas ended up having to go back to the hotel after dinner and missed the fireworks show because I just couldn't stay. but we did end up watching a youtube video of the fireworks show once we got home, not the same but better than me being sick the whole trip because I pushed it too hard.

Magic Kingdom was really fun and I feel like we could've spent 2 days in the park, because we definitely didn't see it all with our early night. I feel like it's the classic Disney park and it's one of the only parks that I remember from visiting when I was a kid. the last time I was at Disney was for my 8th grade class trip, so it's been a good 18 years! haha! there were a few parades where all the characters came through, and that was fun! even though I could only ride kid rides, we did do almost a whole day of rides! and then we got to eat dinner w/ Winnie the Pooh and friends! so that was a great end to the day!

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

baby b | how we told our parents

both of our sisters had the first grandchild in each of our families, so we weren't exactly telling our parents that they were becoming grandparents. but we did get to tell them that they would have another grandchild, so that was fun!

i had matching shirts/onesie made (cause i'm that person) that were "bee" themed since we were calling ourselves The B Hive. (you can see the shirts and the onesie in the photos in this announcement post!) i was originally going to give them the announcement card in an envelope to read and tell them that way. but the announcement cards hadn't come in the mail yet, we didn't want to wait to tell them, and we had the onesie that said "baby bee" on it. so, we just wrapped up the onesie in a bag and made up a reason of why we were giving them a gift. haha!

it was fun to see their reaction when they opened up a onesie, and then read "baby bee" on it! my parents thought we were giving them something for our Disney trip in March (technically it does have to do with Disney b/c there's a new family member hitching a ride!) and my in-laws thought we were giving them something for their new house (technically the baby will go to their new house, haha!). it took my parents a little bit to catch on to the fact that we were pregnant, because no one knew we were trying to have a biological child (we've always talked about adoption & that's still in the plan!). both of them were thrilled when they found out the news though!

two weeks later, and both my mom and mom-in-law had already bought their first gifts for baby b! so I think you could say they were excited! haha! we told our grandparents by letting them open the card and read it! it was fun seeing everyone's reactions to the news!

Monday, April 15, 2019

marineland dolphin adventure

on our way to Disney World from Jacksonville, we rode down the A1A so we could see the beaches, and we passed Marineland! we looked up the website and saw that you could see dolphins, sea turtles, and sharks up close... so we made plans to stop there on our way back home from Disney! you can actually swim with the dolphins or do a "touch and play" in the water, but those tickets were a bit too much money for this trip! 

we did a general admission ticket which got us a behind the scenes tour, and we got to see the trainers with the dolphins. it was cool to see how interactive the dolphins are and how they would constantly swim up and look at people, like they loved the attention. they were playing with kongs and balls while we were there, and it was just so cute! we had a dolphin pop up, look at us, and rest his chin on the concrete a few times! that was so adorable!

the behind the scenes tour took about 30 minutes and we stayed for probably 20 minutes more than that to look at everything, it was definitely worth the stop on the way home! we are already planning a trip back in a few years, and we may save up to do the water play time with the dolphins because they were so playful and fun!

Wednesday, April 10, 2019

Jacksonville, FL

my parents took our family to Disney World for a belated graduation gift for me and my sister (posts with photos will be coming! sooo many photos to go through!). i graduated with my masters and she graduated with her doctorate last May, but our schedules couldn't come together for the trip until this year. the way my 12 hour rotation worked out, i would have 2 extra days off during the time we needed to take off for the Disney World trip, so Thomas and i decided to take a little mini vacation on the way to our family vacation! 

we spent a day in St. Augustine, FL for our anniversary one year, and we drove through Jacksonville during that trip. we always said we wanted to come back to Jacksonville and explore the city someday. my mom was also born in Jacksonville so i thought it would be cool to see the city. we decided we would leave 2 days early, stop over in Jacksonville for 2 nights, and have a shorter drive to Disney the day the rest of my family would be making the long drive!  

i wanted to spend those extra 2 days going to Harry Potter World, because we've never been and i've been wanting to go for so long. but, since we bought our house in December, and we're saving up for a baby this year, we just couldn't make the funds work for that. i'm thinking maybe we'll save up for a trip to HP world for our 10th anniversary or something, haha! but i will get there one day!

we booked this trip before we knew i was pregnant with baby b, but it was nice to have one last little vacation before we become a family of 3. i'm not sure that we'll be able to take any other vacations by ourselves before baby b arrives, so we can consider this a baby moon of sorts i guess. if people did baby moons during the first trimester, haha! after being nauseous 24/7 for almost 2 months, and not having the energy to leave the house on my days off, this trip was SUCH a welcome break!

it was nice to have some alone time with Thomas, get outside and explore, and not conserve all of my energy for my 12 hour shifts like I had been doing the last few months! I was still very exhausted and had some nausea, but it did ease up some for the trip which was nice! we just kinda hung out around the city and took it easy, since I didn't have too much energy... but it was a super fun trip to get out and explore, even if we had to take it slower than we normally do!